I remember when my Mom turned 40. Someone gave her a coffee mug that said, ‘Over the Hill’. There was a birthday card that read, ‘It’s all downhill from here.’ As an eight-year-old it was all quite confusing. Where were all these hills and how do I get to the top of them?
Well 32 years later, I’m here. Forty will be here in five days. It’s far less dramatic and consequential than I thought it would be. It’s true what they say. You really do give fewer *hits the older you get (arguably the best thing about aging). Perhaps forty doesn’t seem like a big deal because of all the amazing feats middle-aged athletes are accomplishing these days. I have coached athletes in their 40’s and 50’s hitting their best marathon times, racing events that athletes half their age can’t even finish, and just generally winning at all things life. Once you see people like you accomplish something big, you know you can do it too.
33 years ago, I joined my first swim team and sports has been THE thing in my life every day since then. I have coached for 16 of those 33 years, and in the coming years the coaching percentage will surpass the athlete one. When I first started coaching it felt odd to be on the other side of the racing. I felt an urge to line up and race myself. Now, it feels far more natural to be on the coach side of a race than lining up to race myself. Funny how that transition happens.
Spent more time in the water than on land in my youth.
My 30’s showed me that you can work hard, do everything right and life can still drop you on your head. Don’t wait for your life to be perfect to be happy. It never will be. Nudge your brain to be mainly grateful, joyful, and in service to others. It’s a daily practice but it works.
When my Mom dropped me off at college she said, “You are always doing something different.” I wasn’t sure if she said it out of exasperation, resignation, pride or a mix of all three. Not much has changed since then, and I have and always will march to the beat of my own drum. Society won’t dictate what I can or can’t do in my 40’s. Only I can make those choices.
For my 30th birthday, I ran a 100 km trail race. My first ultra.
I also have this vivid memory of a Professor in college who celebrated a birthday one day in class. She wondered aloud why people dread getting older? Each year is a gift that brings more life and wisdom. She thought there should be more joy, less dread about aging. It didn’t hit home at age 21 but it sure does now.
I GET to turn 40. What a gift. Another year of living. More wisdom, service, and joy. Time to celebrate.
Spent my 34th birthday at Kirstenbosch Gardens, Cape Town. Was strange having a winter birthday for 4 years.